OCA-DC President

Every time I go back to visit Shanghai, my hometown, I always have mixed feelings of coming home to a familiar culture and environment, and going abroad to a strange land that is growing less familiar with each passing year.

Like many, I am awed by the sweeping changes that are both fast and vast, nothing short of a miracle. Surrounded by youthful energy, vibrancy, and overwhelming scale of everything, I have an enormous sense of pride and excitement as an ethnic Chinese. No matter how you felt about China when you left the country, you can’t help being impressed by what it has accomplished in just two decades, which has far exceeded anyone’s imagination.

In many ways, visiting China is a humbling experience. At one point, there were serious concerns about brain drain in Third World countries like China and India, where some of the best educated chose to leave their home countries in large droves to pursue better opportunities.

But China proved that it can do well with or without us. Our talents proved inconsequential in the context of China’s vast and growing talent pool. We are the ones who missed the boat. The irony is, we came to this country to seek better opportunities, but looking back, many wonder if we would have been better off staying at home. The reality of surviving in a new country has forced many immigrants to make a living that is less fulfilling and far below their potential. It’s hard not to ask yourself: Is it worth it? Would I have migrated half-way around the world if I had known then what I know now about how much China would advance? It’s a fair question and a sentiment shared by many.

But that’s just one side of the story. We often don’t realize the privilege of being an American and having the cross-cultural perspective until we are confronted with a very different reality.

Some of the things I will never get used to in China are things that remind me of how much we Americans take for granted and how fortunate I am as an American. For example, white worshipping is prevalent in China. As an American who has come to appreciate the value of equality and diversity, I found it unbelievable and offensive that the majority of the commercial billboards in China, whether in an international city like Shanghai or an inland city like KunMing in the YunNan province where we were tourists, would feature white images rather than Chinese-looking ones. This subliminal yet in-your-face message of what’s desirable is truly sad for a country that has so much to be proud of. Ironically, Chinese-looking characters are increasingly featured in American media these days and the trend will only grow as China becomes more powerful and relevant to the rest of the world.

I admit that as a spoiled American, I will never get used to right-turning vehicles not yielding to pedestrians in crosswalks at green lights, or public restrooms not providing any bathroom tissue, or having your RMB bills examined so carefully by the cashiers at the stores as if they were counterfeits.

One can argue that these are no big deals in the large scheme of things. But they are. All these things have to do with human dignity and self-respect. They made me feel bad about being a Chinese, which I am and will always be ethnically. But culturally, I am more American than Chinese now after almost two decades of living in the U.S., and certain things are no longer acceptable to me. If China wants to achieve true greatness and respect from its own people and the rest of the world, it has to focus on the intangibles, i.e. civility and humanity, rather than just what it can show off on the landscape and the skyline.

If, as an immigrant, your goal of coming to this country was to pursue economic opportunity, you may regret and wonder if you should have stayed in China where your success would probably have come at a lower cost and sacrifice. But the best things about being an American are not material. America is the greatest country in the world because it has the fairest system and it puts its people on the pedestal. Compared to his counterparts in China, my American born and raised son understands better respect for individual rights, the need to abide by the laws and rules, and the belief in fairness and common good– values that have deeply engrained in him and many Americans.

I still get homesick from time to time, but I am proud to be an American.

(Lily Qi is the president of the Organization of Chinese Americans (OCA)-DC.)